[Podcast] An Attempted Stabbing in Paris, Baby Beers, Berets, and the Floodgates of Passion


Leave a comment if you have any questions or thoughts! I’d love to get a dialogue going :)

Here I take a one-way flight to Paris and go on a date with the girl of my dreams!

This adventure also includes my first ever meeting with an Australian abroad and oh that was as funny and crazy as you would never expect if you hadn't also met an Australian Miner on their break.

I hope you enjoy the fun little adventure and the romantic story in this episode! :)


Hello. Hello, and welcome to my a one way trip to Paris. Let me give you a quick recap of where we are in the story. In the last episode, I talked to you about my one and a half months, traveling through1Europe and all the great experiences that I had and the very special lady that I met on my very last night. And then how I made the really difficult decision in the next three months to sell all of my stuff and leave my apartment in Boston and get a one-way ticket to Paris. And that's where we are now. Now, if you have any questions or comments, feel free to leave me a message on no fairy tale, travels dot sub stack com. Now let's pick up the story where I have a one-way ticket to Paris, and you know, I'm going there to see this girl and I'm going there to hopefully get a date with this girl. But none of that is guaranteed. So over the last three months, we had been talking exchanging messages, but we were never actually dating. We were never exclusive. Neither one of us said, Hey, wait for me.

We just said, Hey, you know, if

It works out that I happened to be in Paris and everything is going right, that we should go on a date. So we're both single, we're both in Paris. Then we can go on a date. And that was just so far fetched. So by the time that I have decided to leave America and travel abroad, I'm thinking, okay, listen, I want to go on an adventure. And it would be really nice if I could go on a date with this girl, but there's no way that she's going to be single when I get there. Beautiful, smart, witty, funny, hardworking, and in a city of millions of people. And she's very social. Yeah. She's not going to be available when I get there, but what do I have to lose the most amazing person I ever met? Hell yeah. I'm going to go there and try and go on a date with her. So I arrive in Paris. I check into my hostel and I give her a call. Guess what?

She's single. She's single.

And she can't wait to go on a date with me weekend. Oh my God. It was awesome. It was perfect. So I go buy a celebratory beer in the hostel and go out on my balcony and just sit there, smiling ear to ear. As I'm Downing my Corona and enjoying life, I am on cloud nine and nothing is going to bring me down. And then I hear from below me, Oi, Oi Cunt!

And this would turn out to be my introduction to Australians abroad.

They are a particularly amazing

Breed of traveler. They're almost like a different species actually. And this was a particular type of that species and Australian miner. Now, for those of you that have traveled a bit and actually met someone who is an Australian miner, you know exactly where this is going. I had no idea. So he yells at me from below and invites me down and I come and he's got three empty Heinekens on the table in front of him. Then we go inside to the hostel front desk area and he's got 10 or 15 empty Heinekens on the table there. And mind you, it's 11 o'clock in the morning. Okay.

So we end up over the course of the next two hours finishing all of the Heinekens in the hostel. Now mind you, we are in Paris. Okay. So the beers in Paris are baby beers. I think it's illegal to sell a full-size half liter or pint beer in Paris. Paris is the city of baby beers and Berets. Now all of France, isn't like this go to Mets. And I think it's illegal to get a baby beer and Mets. They're all big, proper beers, but in Paris, they're tiny beers, but we had a lot of them. We clean out the hostel and over the course of these two hours, it's like an amazing cultural lesson on Australia. First of all, he is a self-described Bogan. So this is my introduction to all of the wonderful, funny and hilarious words that Australians have. Australians have basically taken every English word and then made it smaller and cuter and funnier. And so the first word that I learned is Bogan, which is a lovely word that almost nobody who would ever describe themselves as, because it basically means white trash, But this guy, he didn't care. I mean, he had had like 20 Heinekens by the time that he said this and he proceeds to tell me all of these interesting words, Sheila, for woman frothy for beer bottle, for liquor, shop sunnies for sunglasses, maybe my favorite, an electrician in Australian is called

Spark ki. I love that. So many more funny and hilarious

And awesome words for everything. Getting drunk with an Australian abroad is a truly amazing experience. Unless they're from Sydney, don't get drunk with a Sydney because they're just completely boring and bland and vanilla, and they have some weird and unjustifiable sense of superiority that you only find in large cities where they think that they're better than everybody, but they always end up being the most bland, boring, and banal versions of people from that country. So let the Sydney EITs hang out together and then hang out with everyone else from Australia and have a great time because they are just proper, proper fun. And traveling for an Australian is really part of their culture. So they travel more than anyone else that I have ever met. And I'm not talking about a German that takes a train to the Netherlands and they become an international traveler.

No, it was like someone who really travels, not just takes a 30 minute train ride or a three hour train ride. Australians are at the top of the list. And it's funny because they will tell you so you can tell I've met a lot of Australians since this guy. They will tell you that, oh, we only travel so much. Everything is so far away, but that's just an excuse that down. It's like a self-deprecating excuse it. Downplays how entrenched traveling and experiencing other cultures is a part of their culture. Because as a people I have found that Australians are curious and hungry for adventure and new experiences and new people. And just seeing what is out in the world. It's a really enviable cultural trait I have to say. And so they're always, almost always really fun to talk to. Now, this guy, this particular guy was a miner and he was the head of blasting at a strip mine in Africa.

Now miners are a particular breed of crazy. I don't know if it comes naturally or if it's manufactured, but imagine that you are given two weeks where you work every waking hour in a hellscape just you and a bunch of other sweaty, dirty men doing hell's work. And then you get two weeks off and a subsidized ticket to anywhere in the world. And you make so much money. It's not even funny, 150,000, 200,000, 350,000 a year. You make a ton of money. And these guys, when they go abroad, they rage and this particular guy would end up spending over $10,000 in one week. So their stories are crazy. They are crazy. It's, it's really, really interesting to hang out with them. If you see one, somewhere in the world, go have a beer with them and prepare for an experience. So as we're drinking, he's telling me about the night before or that morning, what had happened.

And his story is about going around Paris with a pimp, picking up prostitutes and dropping them off at different points in the city. So one corner had been worked too much, or it was that time of night where there wasn't a lot of traffic there. So they moved him to another corner. So he's basically just like a, a mover, a lady of the night taxi service. And his stories are a lot more than what I just said there, but I'm going to keep it clean. Okay. And so then I'm going up to the front desk and I'm thinking, oh, this guy, he just talks a lot of crap, whatever. And I order a couple more beers from a girl who had become one of my best friends at the hostel and, uh, just a great, great girl, a Kiwi, by the way, you want to hear a fun accent, talk to a Kiwi, ask them to count to seven and then talk to them about the wooden thing. That's behind the house, where you go and sip beers and nice weather. So anyway, I'm talking to her like, oh my God, this guy is crazy, but he's entertaining to listen to, but it's all. And she goes, no, no, no, you have no idea. I was talking to the night manager when I arrived. And he said that this dude came at around six in the morning and some shady looking guy dropped him off in a car with a bunch of whores in the back seat and one on his lap.

So he actually did show up at the hostel like that. So now I'm thinking, oh my God, what's going on with these stories. What's going on with this guy? And his stories got worse and worse or better and better depending on how you think about them, but

No matter what they were terrifically. Interesting. So I ended up spending the entire day with him and we recruit some other people from the hostel to go out with us. And I have to say maybe the pain, his story from that day was him streaking in front of the Eiffel tower. There were so many other things that happened. Um, and I would later learn that his vitamins had potentially been giving him a lot of energy for the last couple of days. And maybe that described his slightly crazy behavior. So I was a little bit ignorant of the, uh, vitality that certain vitamins give you at that point. Um, but I later learned what was going on. So we hang out and have a pretty crazy day going through Paris. But the funny thing is not anything really bad happens during the day. It's sort of self-contained the chaos with this guy. And then as his vitamins start to wear off, we go back to the hostel, very calm, no more yelling, screaming, jumping, running streaking in front of the Eiffel tower naked,

Just calm guy, like a normal guy. You'd sit down

And have a drink with. And it was at this point in the day in this

Whole weird little adventure that somebody actually tried to stab me.

And the only

Reason the guy didn't stab him is because his friend grabbed him right before

He was able to stab this guy was with this Australian miner. This

Was the only time this dude was being calm. We had completely left what we were doing

Earlier in the day. We were in a different part of the city. We were quietly waiting in line for food outside of a sandwich restaurant. And someone came up to him and tried to stab him. We'd never really figured out what was going on because the guy was speaking a mixture of Arabic and French, but it was just not a pleasant experience. So maybe his craziness earlier in the day had scared all the other crazies away. And then when he became calm and normal, the crazy saw that as an opportunity to pounce. So that was a, not a very good situation. And then we get our food and we're going back to our hostel and a crack chases us back to our hostel. I feel so bad for anyone who would utilize the, uh, her Horesh services, because she was not exactly in, um, a palatable state may, maybe a good way to put

It. It was, it was just such a weird

Experience. So we just got out of, you know, the, the sky being stabbed and we're all frazzled. And then this crack chases us back to the hostel and then we just get inside and lock it. And like Jesus Christ that day is over of that day is over and mind you I'm only one day, basically

In Paris, two days in Paris. At this point,

I'm not a hard into traveler at all. This is the first Australian that I've met

My first experience with them. It's just, oh, I didn't even tell you the worst part. It turns out kangaroos are not lovely. Creatures, Australians hate them. They turn them into burgers. They make root burgers and they go rule

Hunting. That was honestly more traumatizing

Than being chased home by the crack, Roos are a pest. They're like the cockroaches of Austin. Really? That was actually very sad. I go to sleep that night and I'm thinking, oh my gosh, I can't wait to see what this guy's getting up to tomorrow. This is, this is like an adventure of an adventure to so many unexpected things. And so many stories that I cannot repeat, or I'm not going to repeat. But what had happened is he bought a ticket that night after we came home to Miami and he went to Miami and that's when he spent $10,000 in seven days before flying back to the mines in Africa. Wow. You know, now that I'm telling this story, I find myself wondering if this guy is still alive, I've never met someone who drank more alcohol and did more crazy stuff. And, uh, took so many vitamins.

I mean,

Wow, wow. And I only saw the guy for maybe a total of 12 or 13 hours. And he left such an impression on me. I would meet many, many, many, many Australians after this. They're not all as crazy as him, but the miners pretty much are Miners

Oil, rig workers, gas workers can sometimes lead an interesting lifestyle. Um, but, uh, Australians, I want to say the two groups of people who you can be sure are going to be fun to go out with are Australians and British people. And if you want to talk about travel, the best group to talk about travel with, it's going to be an Australian for reasons I already mentioned. So I love, uh, love hanging out with Australians abroad as long as they're not from Sydney. Uh, and Brits are so fun, but let me bring it down now, let's bring it back from the crazy, from the chaos, from the drinking and the hostel and the other travelers I needed a day or two to sort of settle down before I go on a date with this girl. So let me tell you just a couple, maybe funny little stories about Paris before we get to the date help transition from the Australian miner.

So one of the funny things in France is that the bakers actually have to go to school to learn how to make the baguettes and the baguettes. Oh my goodness. They are truly, truly amazing. They are truly amazing. And I have to tell you one of the most difficult things, actually, I think it's physically impossible is to buy a freshly, made baguette from the bakery and then walk home without biting the top of it off. I think that is actually physically impossible. It's a rule of the universe. You cannot walk home without biting the top of it off.

So just know that if you send your, your lady or your man out to get a bag at the top of it will be bitten off by the time that it comes home. And also if you date a French person and you dare get a baguette from anything other than a bakery, just know that when you come home, you will be immediately sent out to get one from a bakery. It doesn't matter if it's raining or snowing or there's tornadoes. You're going to go back out to get one from a bakery. Okay. So they are very particular about that.

Uh, the other thing is,

Is there was this one time I went to Paris. You know what Persians are best at, by the way, their number one skill is going on strike. I don't know how many times I've gone to Paris and the Metro workers have gone on strike for the last four stations before the airport. The whole line doesn't go on strike. Just the four stops or five stops before the airport. That's the kind of thing that they'll do to just drive chaos and wreak havoc in the city. And there was one month where the garbage workers went on strike and I arrive in Paris and there's trash everywhere. No garbage had been picked up in weeks. And you know, the funny thing Paris smelled exactly same as it did when they weren't on strike.

There was no difference. So Paris is a

Such a dirty city. It's such a dirty, beautiful grimy city. It's a city that you love and hate at the same time, but now let's, uh, let's go into the date. So the date was for, I believe seven o'clock at a place called opera and it is truly beautiful. And it's just enough off the tourist track to be not too over polluted with street, people that are trying to harass you. So it's actually a really lovely place to go out. I am five minutes late. She is 30 minutes late, or according to her 30 minutes early, because a Spaniard born and raised in France one hour late is just perfectly on time for them. And just don't you dare question it. So she was 30 minutes early.

And when we met, it was kind of, we had no idea what to do, and we met three months apart and, uh, you don't know what you are, and you never really said that you were dating you. Weren't sending love VW messages or anything. So it was a little bit awkward at first. And she takes us down the main street, which is very beautiful. And then onto a side street, in a lovely little restaurant and the side streets of Paris, where all the good things are. So go to a science street, you're going to get the local restaurants, local cafes, local places where you want to go. So we go inside. Everything is in French. There's no tourists there. The waiter sets the menu on the chair next to us. The menu is one meter high,

Three feet high. And it was like a clown

Menu. I had no idea what's going on. Everything's in French. She's translating everything for me.

It was, it was a funny

Little experience. And then by the end of the month, I get that she's trying to show off. So she had been telling me, you know, you want to get this and you want to do it like this and do this. And she's introducing me to the French way. We get to cheese. She orders a very nice cheese platter with some expensive cheeses, a bunch of different ones. And she's tasting them and telling me tastes, this one tastes, this one, you can sense this and this and this and that. And blah, blah, blue, blue, all of these things. I think that noise I just made, by the way, it does come from, uh, French people. Um, but, uh, I've, I've picked up a few things while abroad that I like to use,

But anyway, she's showing me all

Of the beautiful delicacies and intricacies of the cheeses. And then she gets to the last one, she's number eight or nine on this beautiful slate platter.

And she puts it in her mouth and just immediately

All that's butter ed, her cute little accent. And, uh, that was just so perfect. So perfect. I

Love that. And in that little moment, right, I could sense that she was also a bit nervous, a bit unsure of how things are going to go. And it was just so cute. I love that. It doesn't probably doesn't sound very special when I'm talking about it now, but I remember that and it was great. It was shortly before that, by the way that I had started to plan in my head when I'm going to go for the kiss, because when we met, we didn't have a kiss. When we met that night at the start of the date, we didn't hold hands or anything like that, you know,

We don't know what's going on.

So I'm planning my kiss. And of course, the first time that I think I have a good chance for a kiss, it comes and it goes okay. Okay. Okay. Terrified. I'm terrified. I'm terrified. It came and it went that's okay. I got a backup plan. My backup plan is for when we leave the restaurant, we stepped down one. And then when I do that, so I'll go in front of her and I'll step down one on the sidewalk, turn around and she will be the same height as me. And that's a perfect time for the kiss. Right? Perfect. Right there. Don't have to bend down or anything. So I go step down, turn around and just freeze. My heart, exploded, everything. Just, I just froze. I just froze like Han solo after he'd frozen by Java, the hut frozen couldn't move. I felt like I was there for an hour. It was probably a 10th of a second. But yeah, that didn't happen.

So we

Continue walking down the street

Now touching, not holding hands. I mean, I really like this girl. I'm so scared. I have no idea what the hell to do. And there's so many different cultural barriers.

It's not just American to French. I mean, it's got some Spanish influence and I've spent some time abroad as well, living with cold Germans with icy hearts. Like, I don't really know how to behave


Or walking him or walking and we get to a quiet little spot. And finally I make a move. I put my arm around her waist that wasn't my big move. And she immediately looks that with a big smile on her face. And she goes finally, finally, that was her response.

Oh my gosh.

Ah, yeah, finally. Well that deserves a drink. Finally, today it's run by the way. Oh, final. So with my hand around her waist, she puts her hand around my waist and we continue walking down the streets in a beautiful area of Paris that doesn't actually smell bad and we get next to the lube and I'm thinking the whole time, right? Since I got my arm around her waist, I'm like, all right, good sign, good sign, good sign. Next thing, kiss, kiss has got to come somehow. How are we going to do this kiss? We can do it. We can do it. So he'd get in front of a part of the loop. And there's a particular like kind of interesting little car there. And she loves cars. I mean, loves, loves, loves them. She knows like everything about them. Way more than I know about cars.

And so I asked her what the car is. I asked her for something about it. So we stop and I pointed the car, ask her about it. She tells me something. I don't remember what she said, I wasn't listening. But then she turns and looks at me and time stops. Time is just gone. And I tell you, it was the most beautiful kiss, the most long lasting kiss, the most passionate kiss, the most loving, tender sweet for that moment. Our two bodies had to become a one time stop. There was nothing else in the world that mattered. In fact, there wasn't even a world. We were in our own separate universe. The flood gates of passion had been opened. And I tell you, after that moment, it was never, again, a single moment of being shy or nervous or unsure, cheers to the flood gates of passion.